


You Can Do This

by orphan_account



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alcohol, F/F, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 09:57:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9175219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It's supposed to be Lena's first time at Game Night and she's freaking out.





	

_You can do this_ , you assure yourself.

You had been pacing in front of Kara’s apartment for longer than you’d care to admit. You almost chicken out and call her with an excuse instead, but then one of the other tenants holds the front door open for you – probably assuming you forgot the key – and you’re too polite and awkward to not go through the door as well, mumbling a “thank you” in her direction.

Great. Now you’re in the apartment building. That’s one step out of the way.

The person who opened the door for you gives you a funny look. You don’t blame her. You’re just standing near the door while she’s already walking up the flight of stairs. You give her a tight smile and wave and she shrugs before leaving your sight.

You take a deep breath. _You can do this_ , you think again. _It’s just game night._

Just game night.

Except, you’d also be formally meeting Kara’s friends for the first time. It’d be the first time you’d be meeting them while they were expecting you to be there and spend time with them. You’ve already met most of them before. You knew James Olsen – sometimes Clark would bring him over too before Lex lost it. You know Winn – he had helped you at the Gala. You’ve met Kara’s sister before and you try really hard not to cringe at how jealous you had felt before Kara said that Alex was her sister. In your defense, they looked nothing alike. You’re not sure who else will be there, though.

You steel yourself and finally manage to make way to the stairs. Maybe you take longer than you would to walk up the steps, but no one needed to know. No one needed to know that you were practically having a panic attack in the middle of an empty stairwell. A nagging thought of _Kara can probably hear how hard you’re breathing_ hangs around the back of your mind but you don’t really think about it because instead of walking you’re collapsed against the wall and can’t even remember how that happened.

 _You can’t do this_ , you think. You can’t meet these people. You can do galas. You can do speeches. You _can’t_ meet these people.

You screw your eyes shut and swallow. Your throat’s scratchy and hurts. You think you’re hyperventilating and a part of you laughs because this is such a ridiculous thing to be freaking out about but you’ve never mattered enough to someone before where they wanted to introduce you to their friends and family but you know that’s not the real reason for this damn panic attack.

You’re having a panic attack. You’re having a panic attack because someone actually loves you for you.  Someone actually loves you and you’re having a goddamn panic attack in the stairwell the floor below their apartment.

“Lena?” You know it’s Kara. You feel a hand brush against your cheek and you lean into the touch. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

You just shake your head and she pulls you into a hug. You don’t fight it. She pulls you towards her and her hand replaces the pressure of the wall. She rubs slow circles into your back and you relax against her. Your breathing and your pulse don’t pound in your ears anymore. A while later – you’re not sure how long – you finally open your eyes and look at her.

“Are you okay?” She wipes a thumb against your cheek. Evidently, you started crying at some point. You nod. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” Your voice cracks. “Yeah, I am.”

“Do you want to come up?” You hesitate and you know she understands. “Okay, let’s just sit here for a bit, okay?”

She helps you move up to a landing before you sit down together. You lean against the wall at first, then let yourself slide to the side so your head rests on her shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks softly.

“I’m scared.” You take a deep breath. It’s ridiculous, now that you think about it. She gestures for you to continue. “I’m scared I’m going to mess this up. I’ve never done this before.”

“You’ve never played board games before?” she jokes. It falls flat and you both know it. But it’s Kara and Kara always presses on. “They’re going to love you, Lena.”

“But I’m a _Luthor._ ” You spit out the name. You used to so proud of being a Luthor. You don’t feel even remotely the same now, not after Dad died, not after Lex went on a rampage, not after you had Mom arrested. You hate them, you suppose. Not Dad, really. He was proud of you before, even if he didn’t really love you. You hate Lex and you hate Mom but a part of you still wants them to love you. Maybe Lex did, once upon a time, but not anymore. Mom never did and you’re more than aware.

“They’re _still_ going to love you, Lena,” she says with so much conviction you almost believe it, but you know better.

“People don’t love a Luthor, Kara,” you say with an equal amount of conviction. You almost held it back when you leaned back to look her in the eyes.

“I do,” she shoots back immediately after. Her eyes level with yours, confidence unwavering in a way that was only possible by Kara Zor-El.

You admit she has a point – she does love you. You hadn’t believed it at first, but she took the _months_ needed to make you believe that she did.

You sit there. You sit there and then you lean back and lean against her again and just take all of this in while you wait out the last dregs of your panic attack.

 _You can do this_ , you think again. You can do this because someone loves you enough where they want _you_ and want you to meet the other people they care about. _You can do this_. And then you’re getting up and Kara looks confused, but she’s following you off the floor and you stand up together.

“You ready?” she asks. You nod and you walk up the rest of the stairs side by side. When you get to the hallway, she reaches for you hand and squeezes. _You can do this_ , you think again.

You’re at the door faster than you thought you’d be and so much later than you should have been. You’re not scared anymore, not with Kara by your side.

Kara introduces you to the rest and the rest to you. J’onn calls you Ms. Luthor and you automatically tell him to call you Lena and everyone smiles at you.

You get pulled into an argument between Alex and Winn about the possibility of lightsabers becoming a reality as soon as you step in.

“Light is _continuous_ and can’t be contained like that,” Alex argues.

“We could just be imposing that limitation on ourselves! Light behaves like a wave, but like a _particle,_ too,” Winn shouts right back. You realize that they might be a little drunk. “Back me up on this, Lena! Science advances by leaps and bounds on a daily basis! Lightsabers are a _possibility_.”

You’re not sure whose side you’re supposed to take. Your girlfriend’s sister or her best friend? You decide to err on the side of caution and side with the one who could kill you without batting an eye.

“Alex is right, light _is_ continuous. Lightsabers would have to be physically contained instead of extending the way that they show in Star Wars. And having such a concentration of light would burn your eyes from looking at it.”

Winn huffed and pouted. Kara laughed beside you and pulls you further into the apartment and sits you on the couch next to Alex. You move to scoot a little further so she can sit between you two, but she stops you and sits on your lap instead. You feel your ears heating up but everyone just laughs good-naturedly and you just laugh along because, for once, people aren’t laughing at you to _hurt_ you. Maggie – Alex’s girlfriend, you remember – mimics Kara and plops herself down on Alex’s lap and everyone’s laughing again.

A few minutes of chatter later, someone rings the doorbell and Kara zips off to open the door before returning with a large stack of pizza boxes that you used to be baffled by until you realized that Kara was Supergirl.

Alex and Winn get up and return with games and, despite you not answering the question earlier, Kara was right about you having never played board games. Thankfully, Mike of the Interns – Mon-El, you learned – was equally as confused as you so you didn’t feel so alone.

By the end of the night, you manage to have a basic understanding of Sorry, Old Maid, Jenga, and Monopoly. Despite you being the CEO of a multinational corporation, you’re terrible at Monopoly and you get teased about it but you laugh along because you know they don’t mean any harm. By the end of the night, you feel like you’ve been incorporated into the group and Winn insists that you have to come again because he finally has someone that he can talk science with that doesn’t just threaten him with death when they disagree. He side-eyes Alex as he says so and mumbles something about drunk scientists being scary. You say that you could threaten him too, but he just laughs and says Kara would never let you and you know he’s right. You ask why Alex is allowed to threaten him and he just grumbles about seniority and sisterhood.

Before you realize it, it’s late and everyone one of non-alien origins is drunk except you. You’re a little bit tipsy though, but so are the aliens other than J’onn who decided he’d be the responsible one for tonight. He picks up Mon-El and says he needs to bring him back to the DEO, citing what happened last time he was out and about while intoxicated and you make a note to ask Kara about that story.

Winn is passed out on one of the arm chairs and James is on the floor. Maggie and Alex are asleep on top of each other on the couch, having pushed you and Kara off long ago. Pizza boxes are strewn everywhere, yet the games were all pack away neatly. You’ve never felt this _domestic_ before. You feel even more domestic when you stand up and Kara follows, wrapping her arms around you from behind and you fall a little more in love – but that might be the alcohol talking.

It’s not the alcohol talking.

It’s late and you’re tired and you know you’re not going home because Kara wouldn’t let you with the time and your inebriation, so she drags you to her bedroom and you flop unceremoniously on top of the bed. She giggles and throws a change of pajamas at your head and you groan indignantly before pulling off you pants, shirt, and bra without removing yourself from the bed. It’s a struggle, but you eventually get into the sleep clothes.

Kara crawls into bed with you and you kiss her lazily, letting your lips miss their target sometimes before traveling back and hitting their mark softly.

“Thank you for inviting me,” you whisper against her lips when you pull away.

“Thank you for coming,” she whispers back before kissing you again.

You smile and you’re too tired to talk more and you let the darkness of sleep drag you away with a smile on your face.


End file.
